Tagged: inner

The worst sex of my life (inner game breakthrough)

Many guys I have met comment on how “rock solid” my inner game is and want to know what courses I took or what books I read to get there.

The truth is I didn’t do either of those things.

I had learned throughout the years that the only way to get good at something is to practice it, eg. martial arts and firearms training. My confidence in those skill sets came from my competence. As my shot groups got tighter, faster, and from further away of course I got more confident in my skills.

I also knew that it was a waste of time to compare myself to anyone. In Brazilian Jiu Jitsu there were always going to be guys who would be better than me. Whether they were training for a longer or shorter time. All that mattered was that I was better than I was last week, or last month, or last year.

It also just naturally clicked in my head that even if I was just able to hang a little longer before getting tapped out in class, THAT was something to be proud of.  Soon I was rolling and guys who use to be able to tap me out 10 times in a row, were REALLY struggling to get me to tap a few times, or not at all. THAT was something to be proud of.

Soon I was starting to tap some guys out, and once again that small goal gave me a positive feeling and reinforced my decision to train. SO when I got into Pick Up and had my eye opening revelation that this IS something you can learn, I carried over the lessons I had already learned while mastering or becoming proficient in others skill sets.

I am sure you can find something that resonates with you. Playing music, golf, surfing, hell even playing Street Fighter or Mortal Kombat.  At first you are getting your ass kicked, but soon you start beating players, then the game, then you get to the point where you can beat the game with any character.

I also had amazing breakthrough one day.

Before I was the type of guy who was ALWAYS worried about what other people thought of me. If I was walking to class and tripped and people saw it, I would be mortified for the rest of the day.

I could never run out the door, I ALWAYS had to take time getting ready. Not saying you shouldn’t care what you look like and always try to look your best, but I would not go do something like run to the bank if I only had a few minutes before closing, because I didn’t have time to take a shower or do my hair.

Even something like picking my nose in my car (again not saying you should, but I was too worried what the person in the car next to me would think to even TRY it, even though I would never see them again seconds later)

So I decided to start living my life for ME.

I realized that for a long time I had been giving control of my life over to others. I was thinking and acting how I thought other people would respond positively to, and then it hit me.

I was letting my brain convince me that it knew what complete strangers where thinking which then led to me changing my behavior.

Think about that for a second. I was giving control of my life over to people I would never see again. The worst part was, I wasn’t even really giving them control, I was giving control to what I THOUGHT they were thinking.

and that is a shitty way to live.

So once I had that revelation I knew the next step was to start working on my competency in hitting on girls, and the only way to do that is to go out and try it…a lot!


I also told you guys that I would share with you the story about the chick who stood me up…I really didn’t want to write the whole story about but feel like I have to now.


So I was still hung up on the girl who stood me up. She was actually pretty hot, had a giant rack, and was 20 years old so those tits were still nice and firm. She also played video games and was into anime, even doing some cosplay dress up (and was one of the hottest of them)

So when she called me a few weeks after New Years and apologized for standing me up, I was trying to not cave but her looks, me just getting divorced and knowing the x was getting railed by a new guy, and me not having any other options or choices with women at the time, led to giving her another chance.

She had never done this before, felt horrible, and was going to make it up to me. She promised that she was going to take me to her favorite mexican food place and would pay for dinner. I said sure and we made plans.

We hit the restaurant a few days later. It was a little hole in the way place and the food was HORRIBLE. I know good mexican food and this place sucked (she burned me again! LOL)

Right as the bill was coming she got up to go to the bathroom…

There was NO WAY I was going to pay for this shitty food so I waited….and waited.

The waiter comes by and clears the table and looks at the check….looks at me and walks away.

He comes by at least 2 more times and I am just sitting there waiting (before iPhones so just sitting there)

It is now almost 10 fucking minutes I have been sitting there waiting and all I can think of is she is in the bathroom and reliving the scene from Dumb and Dumber and having explosive diarrhea.

She also didn’t have a purse so there was no way she had any baby wipes with her (you are no better than a monkey or caveman if you don’t have wipes in your bathroom) so was already thinking the worst.

FINALLY after 10 fucking minutes she comes out, pays the bill and acts like she was gone for 20 seconds.

We end up leaving and heading back to my place. All my brain is thinking about is what I imagined happening in that bathroom.

Soon we end up back at my place and we hang out for a little, then we end up getting close and making out. Pretty soon those giant tittays are out and I am enjoying them.

We end up in my bed and we start getting naked.

As we start to fuck, all I can think about is my x-wife, this chick’s 10 minute trip to the bathroom doing God knows what to that toilet, no baby wipes, how I am going to have to wash my sheets as soon as she leaves….

Which of COURSE results in the worst sex I have ever had in my entire life.

It’s over in less than 3 minutes, but thinking it was closer to 2 minutes…

I roll off of her and tell her

“……..I’m……..I’m sorry……….”

Needless to say I never head from her again.

I also threw my sheets in the washer as soon as she left. LOL

It took a few girls before I started to feel my mojo coming back in the bedroom. Which is why I recommend getting those bad dates and lays out of the way ASAP after a painful break up.

(next update will be about how I started going out and trying to sarge, and how the very first opener used that night was called out by a girl)